Anything But Alone

Anything But Alone

I moved into a new house last weekend-on my birthday.
33 and a new home.

I am incredibly thankful - it is exactly what I asked for, a home with character and lots of light, in Farmers Branch and near the church. But if I am being completely honest, I drove to closing in tears of despair. The lies in my head were very loud, and the loudest of them all,
"you are moving into a new place alone. ALONE."
I was sad. I was sad and grieving the life I THOUGHT I would have. I guess buying a house and making decisions about paint color and whether or not to spray more insulation in the attic triggered those feelings... To be honest, this took me by surprise, I do not often think much about being single. In fact, when I bought my first house in Plainview I was feeling all the empowerment. I am Woman! This go round was different. I knew I could do it, I didn't want to.

But God.

He hears our cries and listens to our prayers. There has not been a day since I moved in that someone has not come over to help in one way or another. I cannot possibly write out all of the people who have shown up to install light fixtures, help me with paint, packing, boxes, moving, bringing me food, and praying over my new home. One of my former youth students from Plainview (almost 10 years ago) drove here from Arlington to help with the move and install my shower rods. He saw on Instagram I was moving and texted me that he would like to help. My family all came up and spent the weekend with me - fixing and building and helping. You guys, I am anything but alone.

So when I saw this sign at Hobby Lobby, I started crying (shocking, I know) because the truth of these words hit me HARD. I want to look back on these days - the days I felt alone, sad, fearful - and remember all the ways God showed up and all the ways He is redeeming me. And as I remember, I will tell the stories over and over again so others may come to know Him as their provider, too. Yes, the desire to be married is still very real. But I look around this newly painted house and am reminded of where He has brought me, what He is doing in me and how His story is better than one I could ever imagine. And so, I lay that on the altar (some days better than others) and choose to seek Him with my whole heart. He sees me, and He is near.

Maybe you do not relate so much to the struggle of being "alone" (I feel many of you are wishing for some alone time these days... there is a guest bedroom in my house, come on over and I will ignore you.) What are you longing for? We all have something, I am certainly not alone. I invite you to take a minute and remember what all He has done. Tell Him all of your feelings - the good ones and the hard ones - and ask Him to help you trust Him more. I am praying that for you this week.
Posted in